


Teaching DADA

by Cait_Sidhe



Series: On Top of Everything Else [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13262100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cait_Sidhe/pseuds/Cait_Sidhe
Summary: Snape leaves Neville and Ron in charge of his first-year Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Turns out, it is not as easy as the two expected!





	Teaching DADA

**Author's Note:**

> This can stand entirely alone, but takes place during chapter 19 of my story "An Anomaly, On Top of Everything Else." 
> 
> If you haven't read it, all you need to know is that there's an emergency Snape needs to attend to, and the only two around are Neville and Ron, so he tells them to watch the class. The first and last few lines are lifted directly from it. The story itself follows Harry and Draco, but I figured it'd be fun to see what these two got up to as well!

“Weasley, Longbottom, you’re in charge of my class-- they’re first-years learning expelliarmus; I already explained what it is, so now they just need to try it themselves, shouldn’t be difficult. If I’m not back in time for your class, tell them to practice nonverbal spells.” Snape turned to follow Harry and Draco, leaving a confused Neville and Ron in his wake.

Ron looked at Neville warily. “Did Snape really just tell us to watch his class, or did one of you drug my pumpkin juice at Breakfast?”

Neville rolled his eyes. “Like we would really bring that stuff into the Great Hall. Come on, let’s teach.” He reached to open the door.

Ron stopped him, slightly panicked. “Are you serious? We know nothing about teaching! We’ll mess it up, and Snape will kill us!”

“He’ll kill us if we leave, too. They’re first years; how difficult can teaching them one spell be?”

Ron sighed. “Yeah, ‘suppose you’re right. Let’s do this.”

The classroom quieted immediately upon their entry. Well, it was natural, wasn’t it, seeing as they’d expected their professor, not two awkward sixth-years.

“Who are you?” A nasley-voiced girl asked boldly. “Where’s Professor Snape?”

“He left us in charge,” Neville explained.

“Why?” a chubby boy asked. 

“Because he had something important to take care of,” Ron told him.

“In the middle of class?” a girl in blonde pig-tails challenged.

“Yes! Now, he had you learning disarmament, correct?” Ron was already tired of these bratty kids.

“Why are you covered in blood?” a skinny boy asked, slightly panicked.

Neville and Ron looked at each other. Indeed, they had blood on their robes.

“Oh no! They murdered the professor!” Pig-tails screeched, causing the other kids to start panicking too.

“No! We didn’t! Calm down!” Ron tried to plead.

“QUIET.” The class grew silent and stared at Neville with wide-eyes, Ron included. “Thank you. No one killed anyone. A friend of ours was injured, and Snape went to help. No one else was around, so he left it up to us to take over class until he returns. I’m Neville, and this is Ron. Now, you were learning expelliarmus, right?” The class collectively nodded. “And he explained what it is? Showed you the spell?” They nodded again. “Good. You’re all going to practice it now. I want you to pair up--”

At the words “pair-up,” the two-dozen students began scrambling to find a partner, before Neville had even finished speaking. After a couple minutes, it seemed as though everyone had found a partner.

“Okay, if everyone is partnered up, then get to practicing!” Ron told them loudly. Then, quieter, “Now we just sit back and relax, right, Nev?” 

“Well, we probably should help if they need it… Oh? Do you need something?”

A small dark-haired girl stood by them looking very nervous. “Um. W-well, I…”

“Spit it out,” Ron snapped, and the girl looked as though she were about to cry.

“Ron!” Neville scolded. He knelt in front of the girl and put a hand on her shoulder. First-years were so small! “I’m sorry he yelled. What is it you need?”

“W-well, I, d-don’t have a partner…”

Neville smiled. “Then you can practice with me.” He stood up. “Ron, walk around and make sure the others don’t kill each other.”

“T-thank you, P-professor Neville!” The girl smiled as they moved to a free section of the room.

Ron sighed as he began wandering around, lazily observing the students. It was supposed to be his free period! If Harry hadn’t been such an idiot, again, he wouldn’t have to be here dealing with these wretched little creatures… and only one had even gotten a hint of the spell so far; he did not remember being that incompetent at their age!

“Expel-EAR-mus!”

Ron swerved to look as a kid broke out in tears. The boy’s ears were no longer on his head, rather on the floor. Not bloodily cut off or anything; just bouncing around on the floor. If he didn’t know better, Ron would think it a prank that his brothers’ shop sold.

Ron ran over to the kid. “Hey, it’s okay, Madam Pomfrey will sort you out! Here, take your ears,” he picked them off from the floor, “and go to the Hospital Wing. You know where it is, right?”

The kid ignored Ron, and did not calm down. Had he even heard him? Oh. Wait a second… Ron could have hit himself on the head. No ears; of course the kid hadn’t heard him.

Neville, meanwhile, was having great luck teaching the girl. She had already disarmed him a couple of times. He smiled; it was nice knowing he could help someone learn, make an impact on their life... he wondered if how this was what teaching the DA had felt like to Harry.

“Neville! Help!” Ron called, running up to his friend, holding up what seemed to be a pair of ears, to Neville’s confusion. “A kid over there blasted off his partner’s ears, and I don’t know what to do!”

Neville looked at Ron in confusion. “Can’t you just send him to the Hospital Wing?”

“Yes, but he’s crying with his eyes closed and can’t hear me because he has no ears!!”

Neville sighed. “Ron, you’re completely incompetent when it comes to kids, aren’t you?” He strolled over to the kid, tapping him on the shoulder and then spelling out words with his wand, making gold letters hover in the air. After a bit, Neville had calmed the kid down, and instructed the kid’s partner to take him to the Hospital Wing, with a note for Madam Pomfrey.

As soon as the kid left, there was a commotion in the corner of the room. Neville and Ron dashed over to find that, as happens every year, a kid had a wand through their eye. So they sent that kid along to the Hospital Wing with their partner as well.

BANG. Smoke erupted from one side of the room. “Great, looks like we have a baby Seamus,” Ron muttered, running up to a kid whose face was now covered in ash and strange marks that wouldn’t wipe off. He sent both him and his partner to the Hospital Wing too.

Neville sighed. “Isn’t this supposed to be a simple lesson?”

“Snape is going to kill us when he returns to find a third of his class missing.” Ron grumbled.

“Espressomus!” What appeared to be hot coffee spurted from the pigtailed-girl’s wand, spraying herself and everyone around her. Instead of trying to stop it, or at least turning the wand downwards, she began flailing around in panic. Ron jumped in, managing to grab her wand and mutter a finite incantatem, but not before receiving a faceful of scalding coffee himself. He gritted his teeth, not wanting to scream in pain in front of all the kids.

Neville used some drying charms on Ron and the six students sprayed with coffee. “I think you should all see Madam Pomfrey, too…”

“Couldn’t agree with you more,” Ron sighed. “Oh, shut up,” he snapped at the few kids who were whining about the pain, and they did, instead quietly whimpering about him being mean. Well, it was better than the initial bawling, at least. The lot of them left to see Madam Pomfrey about the second-degree burns they’d received.

Neville instructed the rest of the students to continue practicing while he magically cleaned up the mess of coffee and ash.

Suddenly, the door flew open, causing the room to scream. Harry and Draco darted in. 

“Where are all the students?” Draco asked, looking around in slight confusion. “And Ron?”

“Well, that’s--” Neville began.

“I accidentally made Snape forget that he left you in charge and he is on his way here,” Harry briskly divulged, looking slightly panicked.

“You… what?” Neville asked, confused. “Hold on, you’re sober?” Neville peered curiously at Harry. “But not even a half hour ago you were--”

“Long story, tell you later.” Draco grabbed Neville by the wrist, and pulled him out the door.

“But, we can’t just leave the kids alone!” Neville complained.

“Fine.” Draco poked his head back into the room. “CLASS DISMISSED!”


End file.
